i'm having some pretty severe problems with my mind at the moment. after my breakdown earlier on in the year, things got better for a while, but are now getting steadily worse. good ol' depression makes itself known to me, and suddenly bam! nothing gets done, and i feel incapable of anything.

so give me time people, let me sort myself out, and i'll return when i'm ready to kick it once again. until then, just gie me time, and sometimes, a shoulder to lean on.

thanks guys for being understanding.

it's like all the little crayfish wandering the universe just started eating each other. looking at the depraved masses covering the scraps of paper handed out by financially indecent vagabonds decked in yellow and purple, i have a sense that something, somewhere, is pulling itself apart. all the money dried up long ago for these over-nourished cretins, and now they scrape at the dust lining their pockets with a grim determination to make the goddamn best of it, even if they can't get their favourite tea from a thousand islands away.

but these are no normal mortals walking the halls of power in forgotten buildings loved only by tourists and stargazers; no theyr are something much more horrible. they have all the self imposed powers od a deity, but none of the wherewithal to actualy do something with them that might make the least bit of difference when we all turn into stellar dust. the inability to look past the next few seconds, past the end of their own noses, or out of their wallets for a second for fear of eternal retribution has held them at the state of lizrads, rocking back and forth on the whims of their flightful fancy and noncommittal grunts of acknowledgement and dismissal.

such a foolish thing then to assume that any mortalcan stand against them, but they will, the unconvinced watching it all on a 15'4 screen buried deep int he 1950's typisfied suburban home. and they'll drink soup and watch bread grow old as they charm themselves into a belief that no-one can shake; that being that they made the right choice. will you?

or will you make a decision that's been a long time coming and needs no justification. a stand that won't sit. a mark that won't fade. a speech that will never stop being heard. or will you be quiet and meek before that fury of a self-imposed god of absolutely no consequential merit of worth on this planer or other.

well it's been a fair old while.
i've been busy as the proverbial bee, but hopefully i should be making a wee comeback in the next few weeks.

as soon as i get time away from:
a) work (currys.digital demand blood i tell you, blood!)
b) My Degree
c) my research placement
d) my fiancee (thats right i got engaged, woo!)
e) my bed from the precious few hours of sleep i get
f) my ultimate frisbee team
g) facebook

then i'll start pumping some new stuff thru!

til then, Peace!

A BILLION DEGREES!

outside it's hot as heck itself. and trudging back from the university library carrying a bundle of books on the effects of mass media on adolescence is not my idea of a fun day out. but, if i wanna be a teacher at the end of it all, these bastard thing must be suffered through.

the thing thats bugging me the most at the moment, and thats probably bugging alot of you too, is how hard it is to be noticed on here. i've been pumping out pieces left right and centre for a long time now, and, while it's clear that people do like them (favs, watches etc), in two years i've only accumulated a thousand hits.

thats pretty shambolic.

especially when i want to be noticed, so i can finally start rounding up artists to feature in a magazine i'm trying to launch. it's rock hard. it seems, as i was discussing with that when you get the opening, it all snowballs from there. but finding that opening is like damn near impossible, especially with articales to write, and essyas to compose as well.

i'm gonna keep putting new stuff up (as soon as a i get a new transfer cable for me camera), in the hopes that one day someone will notice it.

to be honest i doubt anyone will read this, but hey, i live in hope.

Peace.

for my next project, i need some people. or a person. Uk only, preferably south-west london based. any style, no nudity, just needed to look cool and be open with their visual emotions.

please contact me either on here or at dr_phantasmo@hotmail.com

i know there won't be many if any takers, but it'd be a good experience for all involved. the shoot will comprise of pictures taken around london, in some scenic landmark points, and some in closed in bar locations. places with lots of people. the pics are for a series i'm going to call "standing out in the crowd" and will incorporate many of the elemenats that have gone into making my most recent pics. if you need any more information, my email is up there, so dont hesitate to throw questions at me!!

PEACE!!